“Rule #1”

There’s a poster in my classroom that lists “10 Things They Don’t Teach You in School,” and throughout the school year I, ironically, reference that list in response to students’ complaints. “Rule #1,” by far, is the go-to rule. Students will say, “Mr. Paone, that’s not fair!” Doesn’t matter if it’s a question about grades, the types of assignments, and, most recently, the loss of proms and graduation ceremonies. I just say, “Rule #1,” and point to the poster.

If you’ve never seen the poster, Rule #1 states:

“Life’s Not Fair – Get Used To It!”

I was in my classroom this week to print out some COVID-19 signage for the return to school and saw the poster. It made me realize how soon I’ll be back there and how different this year will be. It also made me think about the last five months and how different this year has already been.

When 2020 began, I thought I would be heading to Daytona Beach, FL, in the middle of August for a national powerlifting competition. Instead, I’m spending the weekend cleaning up my porch/gym which was destroyed by a tornado. We were in OBX when the storm hit home, naively thinking we dodged the bullet on vacation when several beaches near us were evacuated and we rode out some heavy wind and rain. Coming home we found most objects in our yard flipped, mangled and twisted around other objects, and the wall on the back porch caved in. Two brick pillars and three large storm windows were smashed all over my bench, two small refrigerators were crushed and broken bottles spilled all over, and the large inflatable unicorn and peacock pool floats, well, they paid the ultimate price.

Rule #1.

The porch gym was a work in a progress, the result of the virus and my hesitancy to go to an actual gym. I stopped in my usual commercial gym the week after the state allowed gyms to reopen to see how “safe” it was, and decided it wasn’t worth the risk. One of my grandkids has compromised immunity so I have to take every precaution to minimize my exposure if I want to be around her (and her grandmother). Of course, I don’t get to make that decision as schools are set to reopen. When students return to my classroom, I’ll do everything I can to protect myself, and, fingers crossed, the students take it seriously enough to do the same. But like my father always says, “wish in one hand, and sh*t in the other and see which one fills up first.” These are the same kids who flaunt ripped-jeans dress codes, ear bud bans, and open-toed shoes in shop. I’ll probably live in my basement the first two weeks after the kids come back just to be safe.

Rule #1.

The “10 Things” cover a wide range of teenage misconceptions, and I find them useful in trying to help my students prepare for life after high school. There’s one about learning from your mistakes, another on bosses being tougher than teachers, and another about menial part-time employment being an opportunity to learn and grow. The only real way I know I’ve been effective with these life lessons is when graduates return to tell me about their first year in college, applying for their first full-time job, living on their own and paying their own bills, etc., and they all say, “remember when you told me ‘life’s not fair’”? I find no solace in being right, but it’s nice to know that sometimes something I say – outside of the graphic arts – actually sticks.

Definitely not a Rule #1.